A Tedious List of Vapid FAQs

Zombie Circus Goats generates a lot of great questions.  Here are some snarky answers.

Q:  “Why are the Talent cards numbered?”

A:  The Main Deck consists of 52 Talent cards in 4 suits (Goats, Weregartners, Hellephants, and Ma’ampires).  Each suit is numbered 2-14.  This means that if Zombie Circus Goats is the only deck you have access to (and it certainly should be), then with the tiniest bit of thought you can use it to play Poker, Spades, Hearts, Crazy 8’s and all the other classic card games you can shake a stick at.

Q:  “I just played the Rotten Rhinoceros.  Do I discard down to 3 cards?”

A:  That depends.  Are you a player?  It would be odd if you played the Rotten Rhinoceros and you weren’t a player.

Q:  “Can I use Frenemies to halt a trade I’m involved in to take all the cards in that trade?”

A:  Yes you can.  You sure know how to make Frenemies.

Q:  “I just played General Malaise.  Do I sacrifice a Goat?”

A:  That depends.  Do you have a Goat in play?

Q:  What happens when somebody slaps the table in response to a non-table-slapping card?”

A:  All errant table slappers must pay the player of the non-table-slapping-card a Filthy Lucre card.  If they can’t, they discard a card.  If they can’t, they should be made to feel poorly about themselves.

Q:  “My former friend Rick just played Strong-Arm Services and stole my show payout.  Can I be the victim of Frenemies, or other cards that would steal from me, force bad trades, or make me discard before the end of my next turn?”

A:  No, you can’t be targeted by effects controlled by other players until after the end of your next turn, as long as YOU, not anyone else, YOU, remember that you’re protected by Strong-Arm Services.  No forced discards, no forced trades, and no forced payments until after the end of your next turn.  This doesn’t apply to Event Cards, as these effects are not controlled by players.

Q:  “If I steal One Horn Hammerstein with Gimme!, or get him in a trade, can I use his special ability on my turn, even if somebody else has already used it this game?”

A:  Yes.  His ability triggers each time he enters play.  That goes for all cards with “enters play” abilities.

Q:  “What happens if I want to play a Pardon Moi card in response to another player’s Pardon Moi?  Or in response to another player’s Talent effect, or in response to an Event card?”

A:  To arbitrate these situations, follow this rule:  “Last In, First Out.”  In other words, if someone plays an effect, or if an event card triggers an effect, you may respond with a Pardon Moi card before that effect resolves.  The player who plays their effect LAST resolves their effect FIRST.

Q:  “How do I say “Black Francis” in a slooow Russian accent?”

A:  Make your mouth as lazy as possible, then try this:  “Buh-lek  Fuh-ren-ziss.”  For expert tips, contact the Russian Embassy.

Q:  “If I play the Tout before I show some of my Talent in a Tent, does it double their already doubled show payout?”

A:  Yep.  The Tout doubles the payout for all Talent.  Show payouts for Talent showing in Tents are doubled, and the Tout doubles them again.

Q:  “What does it mean, Ms. Misery is all numbers?”

A:  It means if you can think of a number, Ms. Misery can be that number.  If you’re using the ZCG Main Deck to play a classic game such as Poker, we suggest assigning her the number 14.  (So she’s the Ace of Blood, obv.)

Q:  “What happens if two players slap the table at the exact same time?”

A:  Somewhere in the heart of Texas, a Peg-O-Dile gets its wings.

Q:  “For the card Oh. Ma. Gah.  The best accent, according to whom?

A:  According to us.  Pause the game and send us a recording of each player’s performance.  We will contact you shortly.

 

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