So. You made a questionable life choice and Zombie Circus Goats arrived in the mail…
The first thing you probably want to know is
“What is this Zombie Pizza! Token that came in the box and how do I use it to dominate my friends and/or make them laugh?”
Ok, so chill out for a sec and we will address this pressing question before we even get into how the game works. Here you go:
The Zombie Pizza! token sits quietly at the center of the table until everyone has at least 1 Talent card in play. Then it goes live. The person with the least cards in hand may shout “Zombie Pizza!” and snatch it like a mongoose. If you possess the token, at the start of your turn shout “Zombie Pizza!” to draw an extra card from the Main Deck, OR take Blood, Guts, or Brains from the Bank. After you have drawn at least one card with the Zombie Pizza! token, the token can transfer to another player with the least cards in hand, provided that player is on the ball, shouts “Zombie Pizza!” and snatches it like a mongoose. If two or more players are suddenly tied for the least cards, obviously the faster one gets it. If no one has less cards than the current lord of the token, it stays put.
Here are some basic picture instructions for people who hate reading.
Along the way, shout “Skol!” when you play the Viking Lady, use Gimme! to steal One Horn Hammerstein for his awesome ability, and windmill Cerberus onto the table to make your annoying friend fetch you a drink.
And here are some specific instructions, for people willing to decipher actual words.
What follows is a copy of the Instructions that come with the game. They are printed on the large, folded piece of paper that you threw in the garbage because it was not brightly colored and had too many words on it.
And now, 3 true facts:
1. Big in Canada.
During the first year of its release, Zombie Circus Goats outsold soft drinks, antibiotics, and window tinting in Canada. 1
If Bridge and Mahjong are your favorite games, Zombie Circus Goats will make you weep bitter tears. On the other hand, this is the game Gary Busey played for 3 days straight in the back of a Winnebago. It’s the game Leonard Cohen wrote the song Suzanne about.
If you need more laughing, trading, slapping, and bleating in your life, Zombie Circus Goats is here to help.
2. Really, really ridiculously good looking.
Zombie Circus Goats is full of roguishly handsome cards that will make you spurn your other games and use them for non-entertainment purposes such as lighting fires.
So if you find yourself gazing at The Bearded Man or Moira & Soira, thinking they were made for you, it’s okay.
You’re an odd person, for sure, but you’re not wrong. The whole game was made for you.
3. Excellent stats.
Zombie Circus Goats requires exactly 6% more brain power than War, Crazy 8’s, Russian Roulette, or any the various word-matching/sentence-completion games. In return, it offers 432% more strategy.
87 out of 100 people can play Zombie Circus Goats while scarfing down nachos, sipping a beverage, and soapboxing about their favorite show.
Friends who play ZCG together have 58% more laughter, 73% more slapping, and 3000% more pointless debates in their lives.
Rebuild game night. Better than before. We have the technology.